Category Archives: Television

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17 Celebrities That Need To Be On Dancing With The Stars (Part 2)

After 23 seasons of ABC’s hit reality show Dancing With the Stars, fans will likely be able to get a good idea about what the cast will look like, even before it’s revealed tomorrow on Good Morning, America.

If past seasons are any indication, there will be a washed up reality star, an Olympian, The Bachelor, a Disney Channel actor, an NFL player, a C-list celebrity that has recently been involved in a controversy, etc.

So, if the producers decided to stray away from their typical cast, and if all the celebrities that got an invite decided to participate, what would the ideal cast look like? The following is a ranking of the 17 celebrities that Dancing With the Stars desperately needs to scout out, to shake up their boring, mundane casting.

FOR PART 1 (#17-#13) CLICK HERE

 

12. Alanis Morissette, Singer

(popmatters.com)

 

You oughta know that I’m here, to remind you, of the mess Alanis has left since she went away. It’s not fair.

It’s been nearly 22 years since Canadian rocker Alanis Morissette released her international debut album, Jagged Little Pill, which has since become one of the best selling albums of all time, and one of only three albums that have sold more than 15 million copies since 1991, the year in which Nielsen Music began tracking data.

Dancing With the Stars may be just want Morissette needs to catapult her back into the spotlight and write and produce another album that rivals Pill, arguably the greatest female rock album of all time.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF ALANIS AGREEING TO DWTS: 65%

 

11. Eric Nies, Reality TV Star/Former Model

(alchetron.com)

 

If producers insist on casting a reality star, who better to cast than the grandaddy of Reality TV, the original Real World’s, Eric Nies. Not only was Nies the star of the reality show that launched an entire genre, but he also was the host of the critically acclaimed MTV dance music show, The Grind.

Having somehow never won an Emmy for his work on The Grind, competing on Dancing With the Stars could be the only way for the world to validate and thank Nies for everything he has done for reality TV and semi-erotic hip hop dance aerobics.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF ERIC AGREEING TO DWTS: 99%

 

10. Mama June, Reality TV Star

(etonline.com)

 

Granted, I know virtually nothing about Mama June from the “hit” TLC show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, except for the fact that she has recently become the talk of the town after allegedly losing a tremendous amount of weight, the likes of which many are calling the most amazing transformation in television history.

What better way for Mama June to show off her new body (I can’t believe I just typed that) than to strut her stuff on the dance floor?

REALISTIC CHANCE OF MAMA JUNE AGREEING TO DWTS: 99%

 

9. Malia Obama, Daughter of Barack Obama

(businessinsider.com)

 

Rumor has it that Michelle Obama has been offered one of the coveted spots on Dancing With the Stars, and graciously refused the offer. Shocker.

Why not then, invite the former first daughter, Malia? Sure, she is in college, and just got an internship, but all those wonderful things would still be there for her after she twerks her way to the coveted Mirror Ball trophy, should she decide to compete on the show.

Granted, Malia has just recently been able to step out of the spotlight and twerk with a little more privacy for the first time in her young adult life. So it is very doubtful that she would choose to be thrown back into the media’s ray of vision so soon after she has been granted some, relatively speaking, freedom.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF MAMA JUNE AGREEING TO DWTS: 10%

 

8. Owen Suskind, Writer/Autism Awareness Advocate

(ew.com)

 

It seems as though each season Dancing With the Stars casts a relatively unknown, yet heroic figure that, more often than not, has some sort of a disability.

So why not give Owen Suskind, the star of the Oscar nominated documentary, Life, Animated his time to shine.

After being diagnosed with severe autism at the age of three, Owen overcame the odds by using Disney animated classics to communicate with his family. Owen has since went on to become a highly functioning adult that has his own place, maintains a job, and is able to communicate and express his emotions freely.

Life, Animated is a must-watch documentary for all ages. And ABC and Dancing With the Stars should consider themselves honored to have such an inspirational, courageous young man join their cast.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF OWEN AGREEING TO DWTS: 50%

 

Continue to Part 3…

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17 Celebrities That Need to Be On Dancing With The Stars

After 24 seasons of ABC’s hit reality show Dancing With the Stars, fans will likely be able to get a good idea about what the cast will look like, even before it’s revealed Wednesday on Good Morning, America.

If past seasons are any indication, there will be a washed up reality star, an Olympian, The Bachelor, a Disney Channel actor, an NFL player, a C-list celebrity that has recently been involved in a controversy, etc.

So, if the producers decided to stray away from their typical cast, and if all the celebrities that got an invite decided to participate, what would the ideal cast look like? The following is a ranking of the 17 celebrities that Dancing With the Stars desperately needs to scout out, to shake up their boring, mundane casting.

17. Tom Bergeron (Host of Dancing With the Stars)

(tvguide.com)

 

Drew Lachey isn’t busy, is he? Good…because that opens the door for comedian and Dancing With the Stars host, Tom Bergeron to take the center stage. The bold move of having a host compete on the very show that they work on would be historic, and hopefully start a trend. Who doesn’t want to see Carson Daly give his best attempt at signing an acoustic version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water?” Or Jeff Probst balancing three eggs on a toothpick while standing on one leg on a rotating log, in the middle of the South China Sea.

And don’t let the guy fool you, he is in pretty decent shape for being in his mid 50’s. Pair him up with Cheryl Burke and he could go from host to champion, easy as pie.

(haverhillfever.com)

 

I love Tom Bergeron and all, but I pray to God that is the last time I ever have to Google search “Tom Bergeron Shirtless”. The things I do for accurate “REAL” journalism.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HIM EVER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS: 5%

16. Faye Dunaway, Actress

(extratv.com)

 

Now that the world knows how impatient Faye Dunaway is, and how she doesn’t really give a shit about anything, even about screwing up the biggest moment of the biggest night in Hollywood, and the biggest moment in some people’s lives, we desperately need more of her in our lives.

As we saw on the most recent Academy Awards, Dunaway ripped the card out of Warren Beatty’s hands and nonchalantly yelled “La La Land”  before quickly exiting to side stage and letting her man, Warren take the blame for the blunder.

Imagine how many times she would flip out during rehearsals and run out of the room. She would let out at least three F bombs on live TV during the season, and wouldn’t bat an eyelash. She needs to be on live TV. Every. Single. Night.

Pair her with Maxsim Chmerkovskiy and let the fireworks being.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 90%

 

15. Jack Gleeson, Actor, A.K.A. Joffrey from Game of Thrones

(Speeli.com)

How amazing would it be to have Joffrey on Dancing With the Stars. The actor, Jack Gleeson has apparently quit acting after being killed off the HBO series, Game of Thrones, and who can blame him. He very quickly became one of the most hated television characters of all time, and I am sure that there are plenty of hard-core Game of Thrones fans out there that can not separate actors from the characters they play on TV, just like they have a hard time separating real life from fantasy. This guy’s life must have been ruined from playing such a shit-head on TV.

Give the kid a break and let him show the world he is just a normal guy, and not the worst human being to ever step foot on the planet. Plus, who doesn’t want to see Joffrey do the Fox Trot?

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 10%

14. Yoko Ono, Singer and Peace Activist

(eonline.com)

 

The fact that Yoko Ono has not yet been on DWTS must mean only one thing…. she was offered and refused. The question is, why?

She loves to dance….

(huffingtonpost.com)

 

She loves to dress in costumes….

(vulture.com)

 

…… and we all know she certainly isn’t afraid of having a nip slip here or there.

(spectator.com)

 

ABC, I don’t care who you have to kill, get this woman on my TV screen. Right. Now!

(mashable.com)

 

On second thought. Please do not kill anybody, ABC. Then Yoko would NEVER join the cast.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 50%

13. Elian Gonzalez, A Cuban

(abcnews.go.com)

With all the immigration controversy happening in our country these days, what better time than to catch up on our old friend Elian. All Elian wanted to do was be like Miley Cyrus and have a little party in the USA. Instead he got a machine gun pointed to his face while he was hiding with his father in the closet by a man who for some reason looks almost equally as terrified as Elian.

What better way to unite our country and tell the world that we are sorry for being such dicks, than to invite the poster child of immigration onto one of our most beloved and cherished reality TV shows and have him put on tights and perform the Paso Doble for us. But only for a few weeks until we realize that Elian must have missed some crucial Cuban dance lessons as a child, because being Cuban and all, he should be way better at dancing.

REALISTIC CHANCE OF HER BEING ON DANCING WITH THE STARS – 40%

Continue…..

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Top Ten Tips For Completing Disney’s Monorail Pub Crawl

For a detailed breakdown of Disney’s Monorail Pub Crawl and to help you figure out what route is best for you, click here.

Top 10 Tips For Completing Your Monorail Pub Crawl

(photo by Ryan’s Countdowns)

 

Tip #10

Do not let your kids be an excuse for not partaking in the pub crawl. Just about all the stops are kid friendly, and clearly, nobody has to drive. Many of the stops even have kid’s menus. Maybe they can do their own crawl with a different non-alcoholic drink at each stop. What better way to bond with your under aged children than go on a Disney Pub Crawl with them?

Tip #9

If time is a factor, ask for a plastic cup and bring your drink on the monorail to the next stop. Or walk with it as you make your way to the next stop at the resort you are at.

Tip #8

Vary your drinks. If you are drinking martinis and wine all day/night, if will get pretty rough. Do not be afraid to try a local beer every once in a while. On the other hand, if you drink beer, try switching it up and ordering a specialty cocktail at some stops. That “beer before liqueur” saying is just a myth, anyway. You’ll be fine.

Tip #7

Ask for the bartender’s speciality or the signature drink at each of the bars.

Tip #6

Be respectful. This is Disney World after all. If you can not enjoy some drinks without getting loud, screaming, swearing like a sailor, getting sick, passing out, taking off your clothes, etc. maybe the Monorail Pub Crawl is not for you. Nobody in Disney World wants to have their vacation ruined by foolish, drunk people. Not even foolish drunk people.

Tip #5

Instead of a heavy sit down dinner, try sharing an app or two at each of the resorts. That will keep some food in your system, and prevent you from getting too full and ruining your chances of finishing the crawl. I recommend having apps at “Wave,” “Trader Sam’s,” and “Cítricos.”

Tip #4

Trade off buying drinks at each stop. To save time, and to avoid driving your bartenders crazy, take turns paying for the tab. Splitting checks is a pain, and if it can be avoided, do it. The prices for drinks are roughly the same at each stop, so it all should work out in the end.

Tip #3

Talk to strangers. Make friends at each stop. Sitting at the bar is a easy way to do this. After all, people are probably sick of their travel companions by now. They will be looking for anyone else to talk with. Mention you are doing the Monorail Pub Crawl, and odds are you’ll find people that are doing the same thing. Compare notes and get their advice on where to go next. And direct them to ryanscountdowns.com for their very own guide to the Monorail Pub Crawl.

Tip #2

Drink only one drink per stop. This is the saddest rule, I know. But no matter how badly you want to stay somewhere, or have one more drink with your new friends, you need to move on. You will probably like the next stop better, and make even cooler friends. After all, you are getting more and more loose, and your inhibitions are quickly going out the window. We even went back to some favorite stops a few nights later and stayed for longer periods of time.

Tip #1

Try doing the crawl on a night that the Magic Kingdom has extended hours. We did Magic Kingdom for a few hours in the morning and used a few of our fast passes. Around lunch time we started the crawl (yes, we drank our lunch, don’t judge.) When we ended the crawl around 9pm we had two more hours to finish the rides we didn’t visit earlier. There were no lines and the temperature was perfect. The evening was much cooler than the mid day heat, had much less children and much fewer wait times. Plus Space Mountain after a pub crawl makes the ride infinitely better.

 

Comment below with any questions you may have about the crawl. And make sure you come back after your trip and let us know about your Monorail Pub Crawl adventures.

Cheers!