5 Documentaries You Need To Watch Right Now

Long gone are the days of frantically searching through musty, old encyclopedias that were given to your parents as a wedding gift that they never asked for. Pretending you have any clue what you are doing while fumbling through a library’s card catalogue to find a book on your project that is due tomorrow, is a thing of the past.  Hell, you no longer even have to read the sites recommended from your Google search anymore.

All thanks to a little thing we like to call, the documentary.

Who would have thought that in roughly 90 minutes we could become experts in everything from politics, religion, equalities and wars, to the important things in life, such as sushi, saki, wine, and One Direction.

After countless hours of furthering my education, and more importantly, my ability to beat my friends in touch screen bar trivia games, I have narrowed down the list to the 5 documentaries (all of which were in the iTunes top 200 at some point in the past month) that you must watch the next time you have a spare 90 minutes. AKA, RIGHT NOW. Let’s face it, you’re not as busy as you tell your family, friends, and acquaintances that you are.

 

5. Searching For Sugar Man, 2012

The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley. Richard Marx. Every musician dreams of becoming as beloved, admired, and successful as these pop culture icons. However, only a few have ever achieved such status. Private jets, screaming fans, Graceland, that creepy amusement park place that Michael Jackson lived and had sleepovers with children, wherever the hell Richard Marx lives. These are all just a few of the perks that come along with the recognition of being the best.

But, imagine, if you will, living your entire life, thinking that you were a failure at your passion. Imagine never knowing that you are a living legend on the other side of the world. That is what happened to Sixto Rodriguez, the American musician from the late 1960’s that gained absolutely no recognition here in the States, but somehow managed to become one of the most popular musicians in the history of South Africa.

Searching For Sugar Man is the fascinating, almost unbelievable story of Rodriguez, and his adoring fans on the other side of the world, that were determined to find out what happened to their idol. Did Rodriguez panic at the thought of being a superstar, and pull off the greatest Irish goodbye in music history? Will his South African super fans track him down and demand answers for his disappearance? Can Rodriguez even remember the words to his songs he thought were long erased from even his own memory, let alone the memory of his “fans”? Will Rodriguez be performing with Lady Gaga at Superbowl 51? Watch this inspiring, heart-warming, tear-jerking documentary to find out for yourself.

 

4. Angel of Nanjing, 2015

Remember that time that you bought an iced coffee for the person behind you at Dunkin’ Donuts and felt the need to tell all of your Facebook friends what a wonderful, selfless person you are, and urge them to “Pay It Forward”? Or how about that horrific day when you were walking into the gas station and held the door for three more seconds than you normally would have in order for the stranger THAT DIDN’T EVEN SAY THANK YOU to enter the building without having to be pestered with the nuisance of holding the door themselves. And don’t even mention when last Friday you put $5 into the dress down day bucket, even though you only had to pay $1 to wear your sweatpants to work. We get it, you’re a Saint, and on the fast track to the Pearly gates. Congratulations.

And if you’re a Saint for holding a door, buying an iced coffee, and throwing a crumbled, old, $5 bill into a bucket (be honest, you aren’t going to put a nice, crisp, mint condition bill into the charity bucket), then Chen Si is the new Mother Teresa. Sure, he is a male, Chinese, not a million years old, and I can only assume wouldn’t turn down a free pair of Tom’s Shoes, but he certainly can hold his own when it comes to selflessness, generosity, and pure love for his fellow man.

Angel of Nanjing tells the story of Chen Si, as he volunteers his time to save the lives of those that wish to take their own lives by jumping off of the Yangtze River Bridge in Nanjing, China. The bridge is one of the most popular places in the world to commit suicide, and over the past 13 years, Si has saved the lives of over 300 strangers.

Filmmakers Frank Ferendo and Jordan Horowitz not only capture Si’s rescue attempts on the bridge, but also follow Si and his recently rescued friend back to Si’s house, where he will shelter them, feed them, and make sure that they have the help that they need to change their outlook on their lives to realize that suicide is not their only option. Chen Si is such a lovable man, and you will be so captivated in his efforts, that you will forget you are reading subtitles after the first few minutes. After all, love has no language. Is that a saying? If not, it should be.*

Anyway, watch it now, and then pay it forward. (preferably when you see me in the car behind you at Dunkin’ Donuts. Or better yet, at the Wine Warehouse).

Upon further research, I did not invent the saying, “Love has no language” it has been…

* 2008 movie from India
* Pop Music EP by Alx Veliz (available here. Might I recommend track 3, “Dancing Kizomba” as it is pretty killer.)
* hindu poem by a poet that simply goes by the name, Gulzar.)

And apparently just a love quote/saying

 

3. Weiner, 2016

* Please insert your own weiner…
jokes, where you deem appropriate, as I couldn’t be bothered.

There are two types of people in this world: people that would never vote for Anthony Weiner for any political office because he is a sleazy, horn-ball that can’t stop taking pictures of his private parts and sending them to woman across the country. And people that would absolutely, positively, vote for Anthony Weiner despite the fact that he is a sleazy, horn-ball, that can’t stop taking pictures of his private parts and sending them to woman across the country.  If you fall in either of those camps, Weiner is for you.

If you dislike Anthony Weiner already, Weiner will solidify your disapproval of the would-be mayor of NYC. If you are a Weiner supporter, Weiner will show you a fun loving side of Weiner, and you will want to stop what you are doing, and help him relaunch his campaign. And if you have no idea who Anthony Weiner is, just Google Image search his name, but make sure you type in his last name twice. Also be sure your safety search setting is off. And be at work.

While I adamantly opposed to adult sexting of any kind, I still found it incredibly difficult to not get behind Weiner. In fact, the film taught me that he actually has everything I am looking for in a politician. He is passionate (albeit, hot-headed), not afraid to fight for what he believes in, he is well worded and intellectual. He also knows how to laugh at himself, can tell a joke, has a strong personality, and is someone I would want to get a beer with and talk about the world.

Despite your feelings towards Weiner, the film gives the viewer a behind the scenes look at a NYC mayoral candidate fighting to gain the vote of his people, even through the most dire setbacks and controversy. Anthony Weiner is the epitome of entertaining, and his cringe-worthy moments of awkwardness caught by the filmmakers, help Weiner follow right in his footsteps.

 

2. Somm, 2013

Who would have ever thought that watching a bunch guys prepare for a test, could be one of the most memorable documentaries in the past three years. Somm is the story of four wine-obsessed guys that are preparing to take their level four Guild of Master Sommelier’s exam, a test that is known by many to be the most difficult test in the world.

No matter how much of a wine snob you consider yourself to be, Somm will quickly put you in your place, and make you realize that every last piece of wine knowledge you have, is just a fraction of what a level four sommelier needs to retain.

Somm is humorous, fast paced, and will appeal to viewers despite their level of wine knowledge. Above all, Somm is a motivational, inspirational documentary about following your passions, and pursuing your dreams, no matter how intimidating they may be.

After watching Somm, I was so inspired that I decided to see for myself just how difficult the test was. So, I decided to sign up for the level one Court of Master Sommelier’s exam. After months of studying and the tedious task of practicing my wine tasting skills, I took the level one exam, and can safely say, that the LEVEL ONE exam is far and away the hardest test I have ever taken in my life (and after attaining 4 teaching certifications, a masters degree in New Media Journalism, a teaching English as a second language certification, and literally hundreds of BuzzFeed personality tests to determine which Saved By The Bell character I am, which Survivor contestant I would most likely align with, which Disney Princess I am, or which cult I would have the most fun in if I decided to join) that is saying a lot.

 

1. Holy Hell (2016)

Who hasn’t wanted to quit their jobs, leave their friends and families, and abandon all their personal belongings to move to a secluded part of California and follow a “spiritual leader” on a path to a new enlightenment?

Warning: after watching the first 20 minutes of Holy Hell, you will begin to question every rational decision you have ever made, and regret not opting for cult life right out of high school.

Holy Hell is the riveting, unbelievable story of a group of people that decided to follow “The Teacher, aka. Michel” on the spiritual journey of all spiritual journeys. Known as The Buddhafield, the group of of followers were promised by their leader that they would receive love, happiness, and spiritual fulfillment if they followed his guidelines.

Using actual footage from film maker, and Buddhafield documentarian, Will Allen, Holy Hell follows the impressionable, misguided group of hippy’s as they reach a level of euphoria that they never knew existed, only to have their world collapse around them as they uncovered the deep, dark secrets of their leader.

While a weekend getaway with the early days of  The Buddhafield still seems like a party I

would pay to attend, Holy Hell quickly reminds us that this we should all thank our lucky stars, and our parents, for not allowing us to drop everything and follow a deranged self-proclaimed “God”, on a journey to spiritual enlightenment.

 

 

Big Brother Second Chance – The Ladies (Part 3)

With less than a month to go before the premiere of Big Brother 18, rumors are beginning to circulate about who will be moving into the Big Brother house this summer. Will it be all returnees? All Newbies? Or some sort of combination of the two?

My guess, we will have two more seasons of newbies, which will set us up for the most epic season of Big Brother ever; Big Brother 20:Winners. By season 20, we should have enough interesting winning houseguests to create a dream cast that will pit all (or most, sorry Adam) of the winners against each other, to see who will reign supreme as the Greatest Big Brother Player of All Time.

Another possible, and maybe more realistic option, season 18 will be Big Brother: Second Chances. This will give the producers one more chance to have their favorite houseguests (that have never won the game) be a part of their epic 20th season of winners.

One issue that casting has been running into with All Stars, is the common availability times of their “must-return winners.” No Big Brother: All-Stars would be complete without Dan, Derrick, Jun, Dr. Will, Evel Dick, Hayden M, Rachel, etc.

So, if the producers give them all two years notice, and inform them that Big Brother 20 will be a winners season, with a $1 million prize, their golden children will have an ample amount of time to clear their schedules for the summer of 2018.

That leaves us with the question of who will get their second chance to become a Big Brother champion? The following, are the 18 guys, ranked in order of least to most deserving to get their second chance.

* Sticking to the rules put in place by Survivor: Second Chancesthe houseguests that have played the game ONLY once, and never won, will be invited to be a part of the Big Brother: Second Chance cast.

For a list of the 18 most deserving men, click here.
For ladies 18-13 click here.
For ladies 12-7 click here.

 

6. Elissa, BB15

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

 

There are a few reasons why Elissa had such a huge target on her back in season 15, but none more so than she is the sister of Big Brother 13 winner, Rachel Reilly. If Elissa was in a season in which ALL of her fellow houseguests were “known”, such as a Second Chance season, than the spotlight of her having an “unfair advantage” would be off of her.

She is currently pregnant, and therefore will not be on BB this summer. But, Elissa certainly deserves that chance in the future, and have an opportunity to start the game off on a much more even playing field.

 

5. Shelli, BB17

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

 

While Shelli ended up being the first member of the jury and finished the game in 11th place, she completely dominated the first few weeks of the game. Shelli’s biggest downfall was that she became a power couple with Clay, and as a result, became the biggest target in the house.

If Shelli had the opportunity to play again, and refrained from getting involved in a showmance, Shelli would be a force to be reckoned with in a Second Chance season. She is strong mentally and physically, and has the ability to strategize with the best of them.

 

 

4. Amy, BB3

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

 

After 17 seasons, Big Brother 3‘s Amy Crews is still one of a kind. Her southern charm, sense of humor, and contagious laugh made her a fan favorite back in 2002.

Amy was the first houseguest to ever be a replacement nominee, and the first houseguest to ever re-enter the game, as she was voted out 3rd and returned to ultimately finish in 4th place.

Due to her popularity in season 3, Amy was offered a spot in the first All Star season back in 2006, but had to decline the offer due to her wedding being the same summer. Watching a now 37 year old Amy play modern day Big Brother 13 years later would be surreal for any diehard BB fan, and would be almost too good to be true.

 

3. Michelle, BB10

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

 

As far as underrated BB players go, Michelle Costa, the Portuguese Princess from Providence, has got to be at the top of any true BB fan’s list. The cast of Big Brother 10 was filled to the brim with big, dynamic personalities, and Michelle is no exception.

When the rest of the girls were at each others throats most of the season, Michelle was forming tight bonds with her houseguests. Sure, we saw her close friendship with body builder, Jessie, but it’s what we didn’t see that made Michelle so good at the game. None of her fellow houseguests had anything bad to say about her, and she was never a target until she was nominated as a replacement nominee in the final 7. Besides Ollie (who was evicted on the same night) she was the last houseguest to be nominated.

Unlike many houseguest that are not nominated until late in the game, Michelle was not a wallflower. She had a dominant personality, never shied away from confrontation, and was one of the strongest physical female competitors the show has ever had. The epic endurance challenge in which her and April were hanging on the side of a building in the “Livin’ on the Edge” HoH competition was one of the greatest challenge moments in BB history.

Michelle is a true BB fan, and will take full advantage of her Second Chance opportunity. She is entertaining, full of emotion, and ultra competitive, which is everything one could ask for in a Big Brother houseguest.

2. Amanda, BB15

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

 

Amanda is one of the greatest Big Brother villains of all time, and no Second Chance season would be complete without her. In Big Brother, it is just as much fun to root AGAINST a houseguest that you dislike, than it is to root FOR a contestant you love. Amanda will not be in the middle of the road for any BB fan. You love her or you hate her. You want her to win, or you want her evicted week 1. That is a producers dream contestant, and an invaluable part of any season of any show.

Watching Amanda’s disastrous fall from power in BB15 was thrilling, and I am confident that no matter how hard she tries to contain her emotions, she will be unable to and we will get Amanda BB15 all over again. She may dominate for a few weeks, but once she loses her temper, she will be dead in the water. And I can’t wait.

 

1. Vanessa, BB17

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

 

Arguably the best contestant to never win the game, Vanessa’s return to BB is inevitable. The only question is when will be the best time for her to return. If Season 18 is indeed Second Chance, Vanessa will be on, and unfortunately she will likely be targeted from the get-go and evicted within the first few weeks.

But, if Vanessa comes back a few years from now, the target may not be so huge on her back, and she may have more of a fighting chance to take home the grand prize. Unfortunately for Vanessa, now that all of her fellow houseguests know she is a poker player, and has a substantial amount of money, it will be harder for her to win Big Brother than any former houseguest. But, if anyone can pull off a mastermind underdog story, my money is on Vanessa.

7 Reasons The Kentucky Derby is the Worst Two Minutes in Sports

Let me preface the article by first saying how much I love horse racing, and specifically the Triple Crown. I have physically attended all three triple crown events, (at least that’s what photographic evidence tells me) and I have been betting on the events every year for a solid 15 years. I have correctly predicted a tri-fecta, and the contacts on my phone are littered with Derby, Preakness, and Belmont descriptions to identify the people that I will likely never see or speak to again. Ex. “Kim Preakness”, “Jared Belmont Beer Line”, or “Ashley Hard Rock Louisville after Kentucky Derby.”

So, why am I writing an article about how much I dislike the “Greatest Two Minutes in Sports” you ask? The answer is quite simple: the stress. Very similar to why I hate NCAA’s March Madness tournament, the Kentucky Derby, as well as its sister races, stress me right the hell out. Nail biting finishes, confusion of who to root for, and taking wild guesses about things you have no business taking part in, are among the reasons why my two favorite sporting events of the year, are also the two I hate the most.

The following are the 7 reasons why I think the Kentucky Derby is the 2 Worst Minutes in Sports.*

*Disclaimer: this countdown will be told from the point of view of a tv-watching viewer, not an attendee at one of the races. That is a entirely different countdown all together.

7. Placing Your Bets

One of the most stressful parts about the Kentucky Derby is placing your bets. If you are like 99% of the rest of the country, you are not going to the Race Book every week and placing bets on the 37th race of the day on the Maywood Park horse track in Maywood Park, IL. It is more likely that you dabble in horse racing and maybe bet on the 3 big races each year.

Therefore, you may not yet be an expert on the proper etiquette of horse race betting. For those of you that have never placed a bet in person, imagine Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi teaming up with Philadelphia’s famous cheesesteak guys, Genos.

You need to remember to tell the cashier the track, the race number, the type of bet, the amount you want to wager, and the horse/horses that you want to lose your money on. Couple that with the fact that you are likely making multiple bets, and putting in bets for everyone and their mother because you stupidly mentioned that you were going to the Race Book, and you could be there all day. Nevermind the fact that the line behind you is drunk and becoming disorderly because you have 11 post-it-notes from co-workers, lists of the horses names, and your shaky hands are dropping handfuls of cash on the ground. I need a Xannax just thinking about it.

*On a side note: one thing I find utterly hilarious about this process is when the cashier says to me “make sure you check your tickets.” Umm, seeing as I blacked out 9 minutes ago when I first start talking to you lady, I do not have any idea what I said, what my tickets should look like, or how much money I should have paid. My response every time (after flipping through the tickets like a flip book where Mickey Mouse is jumping off a diving board) is “sureeeeeeee, looks amazing.”)

The following is an example of how carefully I “check my Kentucky Derby tickets” after I made the entire Race Book angry spending 11 minutes placing my bets.

 

6. When You Have No Idea Who to Root For

If you are anything like me and my friends, you can not just place one simple bet and then root for that horse to win. How boring is that? The following is my thought process when placing bets on the Derby. I need AT LEAST……

  • Win/Place/Show on a major underdog
  • Win/Place/Show on a front runner
  • Win/Place/Show on a horse with a funny name
  • Win/Place/Show on a horse that is named after beer or wine (optional, but there is almost always one of those.)
  • Win/Place Box Bet with a favorite and an underdog
  • Win/Place Box Bet with a favorite and the horse with my favorite funny name
  • Trifecta Box Bet with at least one favorite, one underdog and my favorite named horse
  • Trifecta Box Bet with the three horses with my favorite colors. Dark blue, light blue, and orange
  • Trifecta Box Bet with my three favorite numbers (excluding 21 because there are usually not 21 horses.) 3/5/18

Because I have so many bets going at the same time, I usually have no idea who to root for. I usually find myself yelling at the TV something like “ANYTHING BUT #7!!!!!)

More times than not, I will end up winning on one ticket, losing on the other 10 tickets, and my winning ticket covers less than half of the money I spent to buy the tickets. But, it all for charity, so it makes me feel good knowing that my money is being used to help others. It is for charity, right? Or is horse racing not a tax write-off?

 

5. Not Knowing What To Do With Your “Losing” Tickets

Sure you could just throw your losing tickets away, but are you SURE they are losing tickets? Because the tickets are basically written in morse code, I am never confident that the losing tickets are in fact losing tickets. Do I risk going back to the Race Book lady and ask her to double check all of my losing tickets, just to tell me I am more of a loser? Or do I trust everyone around me that I did, indeed, successfully manage to predict the wrong outcome 23 times.

 

4. What F*#%ING Horse is That?

Towards the end of the race, the cruel TV producers take the little numbers off the top of the horses’ heads and also take the placement of the horses off the bottom of your screen. This is when the entire room starts panicking and for some odd reason places their arms on top of their heads and just screams.

This can not be confirmed or denied, but this is said to have been a picture taken at the very first Kentucky Derby. The photo was snapped at the exact second that the placement of the horses was taken off the bottom of the jumbo-tron screen. This fan is said to have died to stress just moments after this photo was taken.

This can not be confirmed or denied, but rumor has it that this picture was taken at the very first Kentucky Derby. The photo was snapped at the exact second that the placement of the horses was taken off the bottom of the jumbo-tron screen. This fan is said to have died of stress related issues just moments after this photo was taken.

 

3. Yeah, but WHO CAME IN 3RD PLACE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Of course the camera crew wants to make sure they get a close up of the winning horse crossing the finish line, with the second horse usually finishing just a nose behind. That is fantastic for all the viewers that correctly predicted one of those two horses to finish in 1st or 2nd. Good for you. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY TRIFECTA?

Sherlock Holmes himself could not be able to decipher which horse came in third place because about 2 seconds after the first horse finished a wall of blurry brown hair and colorful helmets comes whizzing across your screen like you are being launched through the twilight zone.

While others are celebrating, high-fiving, and ordering another round of mint juleps, you are staring at the screen and waiting with baited breathe to find out which horse came in third place.

5 minutes later the network will unceremoniously flash the rest of the results. This is when one of two things will happen…. You will realize that the horse you needed is still not finished with the race, or the horse you needed to come in third, did indeed, come in third. If the latter is the case, your delayed reaction will draw confusing stares from the rest of the crowd, wondering why you are only celebrating 6 minutes after the finish. But, you don’t care. YOU JUST WON THE TRI-FECTA! Congratulations! Now you get to buy the entire bar a drink, or look like the biggest, ungrateful prick that horse racing has ever seen.

 

2. Almost Per-tecta!

When your tri-fecta finishes in 1st place, 2nd place, and 4th place. And only because the horse with 150-1 odds has the race of his life, comes in 3rd place, and promptly needs to be euthanized post race because he has never run that fast in his life and can no longer use his legs.

 

1. You are SURE Your Underdog is Going To Win

You couldn’t design a more perfect horse for you. His odds are at a staggering 60-1. His jockey is wearing your favorite color of deep blue. You favorite number is draped over the horse and written in gold encrusted beer bottle caps. The horse’s name is not only hilarious, but you can already envision it in big letter in the headline announcing it to be the biggest upset in Kentucky Derby history.

You tell all your friends to put money on the 60-1 horse because you are sure he is going to win. You start calculating how much money you are going to make when he wins, and possibly even the potential that your local newspaper will want to do a quick little interview with you, asking why you were so confident that “Newly Tapped Keg” would win the race.

Then the race goes off. You are the only idiot screaming for “Newly Tapped Keg”, but you don’t care because in just two minutes you will be laughing in everyone’s face as you go up to the cashier to collect your jackpot.

Then, suddenly, as the horses begin to separate, you begin to notice a familiar color at the back of the pack. And sure as shit, it’s#5, that beautiful blue “Newly Tapped Keg” is in last place. But you do not panic. Surely he will come from behind, making his upset even more grandiose.

But, sadly, he doesn’t. In fact, you never even get a glimpse of “Newly Tapped Keg” again because he was so far behind the pack that he was out of camera view.

You instantly begin to wonder what on Earth you were thinking and wished you had listened to every single horse race commentator when they said that Mr. Ed had a better chance of winning the Kentucky Derby than “Newly Tapped Keg.

 

Enjoy the Derby everyone! And don’t second guess that underdog that you have been eyeing. I am sure he will do just wonderful.