Monthly Archives: February 2016

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Ranking the Cast of Survivor Kaoh Rong: Brains Vs Brawn Vs Beauty 2 (Part 3)

Click here for part 1. (18-13)
Click here for part 2. (12-7)

The 6 Castaways Most Likely to Win Survivor: Kaoh Rong

6. Tai (Beauty Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Tai is a 51 year old gay Asian gardener from San Francisco, and you will fall in love with him seconds after you hear him talk. He is gentle, kind, humorous, and as lovable as they come.
Much like Yau Man from Survivor: Fiji and Survivor: Micronesia, Tai will be adored by America, but also by all of his tribe mates. Despite being a very small man, he will excel in the tribal challenges. But, if these castaways are smart, they will give him the boot just before the finals, as he would certainly beat anyone in a final vote.
FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Mid-Late jury.

5. Jennifer (Brawn Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Jennifer is bad ass. She has survived cancer, battled drug addiction, and has started her own construction technology company all by the age of 38. Jennifer, or Lanzetti, as she will eventually be called by Probst, will be seen as a massive threat once the tribes split as the beauty and brains girls will be (and should be) massively intimidated by her.
If she does not form solid bonds with the guys, she will have to tone down her strength and befriend the beauty girls. If she can do this, she has a decent shot at winning the game. But, if her pride prevents her from being girly-girly with the beauty girls, I expect her to be gone early merge.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: She is BY FAR the coolest girl in the game, but will be taken out soon after the merge due to her physical and mental dominance. (Hopefully I am wrong and she makes the finals, as she would have a very good shot at winning a jury vote.)

 

4. Kyle (Brawn Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Kyle could be the dark horse of Kaoh Rong. He is super intimidating based on his physical appearance, but if he builds relationships with his tribemates, he could emerge as a leader. If he can lead his tribe to victory and head into the merge with the numbers, I expect him to play a good enough game to get him to the finals.
On the other hand, I can also see him kind of giving up should his alliance be in the minority at any point. If he does not have the numbers going into the merge, he will pull a Russell Hantz and destroy camp, leaving the tribe with no other option but to vote him out.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Early jury. But, if he can take control of a post merge alliance, he has a decent shot at winning.

3. Joe (Brains Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

I am not sure if I placed Joe this high because I truly believe that he can win the game, or because I like him so much. Joe is the modern day Rudy, but in much better shape, and much more capable of fitting in with the younger crowd.

Joe, the former FBI Agent, is 72 years old, but I do not expect his age to be a factor in physical challenges. On top of that, he is so damn likable that I can not imagine a tribe voting him off unless they HAVE to. The only thing that concerns me about Joe is the harsh conditions the castaways are said to have endured this season. Hopefully Joe’s body can hold up in the brutal Cambodian environment.

While I want Joe to win, I believe, like Tai, that the castaways would be foolish to let him near a final 3 vote. I expect him to get very far, but voted out right before the final three battle it out for the jury’s vote.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Joe will be one of the final jury members. If, for some reason, they do not vote him out, he could easily win the jury’s vote. And will.

 

2. Michele (Beauty Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Michele screams winner to me. The problem is…. someone else screams winner to me as well. I expect Michele and Anna to team up and dominate this game. Michele is gorgeous, intelligent, well-traveled, seemingly modest, and self aware. She will be the cool girl of the camp, and in control of the vote throughout the season.
She may, however, take the blame for a lot of the blindsides, and her ally, Anna, who will be a bit more under the radar, will come through unscathed. I liken them to if Jerri and Amber played a little better game in the Outback. Jerri (Michele) would have taken all the heat, and Amber (Anna) would have cruised to the end and won.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Michelle will make it to the end of the game, and come up JUST short of winning (I am predicting she will lose by just one vote.)

1. Anna (Beauty Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Like Michele, Anna has a lot going for her. She is beautiful, intelligent, and seems exceptionally kind-hearted. Being a poker player, she easily could

have been on the Brains tribe as well.
I expect Anna to team up with the girls and vote out all the big guys once the merge happens. I also expect her to sit back just enough and let her allies be the “face” of the alliance, which would put the target (and blame) on all of them before herself. She should cruise to the end of the game, and be able to convince the jury why they should vote for her to be the next sole survivor.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Not only do I think Anna will win the game, but I think she will do so without receiving any votes against her all season.

 

Don’t miss the season premiere of Survivor Kaoh Rong: Brains Vs Brawn Vs Beauty 2 tonight on CBS to see if my predictions come true. Have predictions of your own. Leave them in the comments below.

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Ranking the Cast of Survivor Kaoh Rong: Brains Vs. Brawn. Vs. Beauty 2 (Part 2)

For part 1 click here.

The remaining castaways (ranked in order of least to most likely to win.)

12. Scot (Brawn Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

 

Standing at 6’11” and weighing 310 lbs, is Scot Pollard, the former NBA Champion, and official tallest castaway to ever play Survivor. Scot is a self-proclaimed “cave man”, but comes across as a gentle giant. In fact, he seems so gentle, almost to the point where he is going to bore us to tears. Scot is under the impression that he can still win the game despite the fact that he already has a lot of money, which is not the case, as there is no way a jury would award a multi-millionaire another million dollars unless they REALLY played an amazing game. And that is not happening with Scot.

On a positive note, he does has a bit of a personality as Scot was known for having some crazy hairstyles back in his NBA days, and even got in trouble once for looking into the camera during a time out and saying “Hey kids, do drugs” because he didn’t think the camera was rolling, which is hysterical. Let’s just hope that is the Scot that plays Survivor, and not the boring, scripted Scot that was seen in his introductory video.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Scot will not be able to hide once the tribes merge, and will be one of the first members of the jury.

11. Peter (Brains Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Barack Obama look alike, Dr. Peter, is a quadruple threat. He is smart, good looking, physically fit, and seems like an all around nice guy. He will excel in both physical and mental challenges, and as a doctor, should be able to form solid bonds with people from all walks of life.

Peter, however, will try to make big moves too early, and will get caught up in the process. While nowhere near as arrogant as Nick, Peter’s confidence could come across as arrogance if he is not careful, which will lead to the woman bonding together to hash up a plan to vote him out. His physical and mental abilities will be an asset for the first few votes, but I expect the castaways to see Peter as the number one threat early on, and do anything they can to vote him out before he can make the merge and cruise to he end of the game.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION – Voted out right before the merge, or one of the first jury members

10. Darnell (Brawn Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Darnell, the skinniest “Brawn” of all time,  is going to be the comic relief of the tribe. His strength will be his social skills, and his humor will keep him around until the merge.
Expect to see many confessionals from Darnell explaining how he is not doing this for himself, but rather, doing it for all the children in the projects that he is showing that they, too, can one day be chosen for Survivor and compete for a million dollars. I never understood how being on a reality tv show is a way of proving to a demographic/generation that you can amount to something special, but what do I know?

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Darnell will make the merge, but fall short of the final tribal council, much like Sean Rector from Survivor: Marquesas, whom Darnell stereotypically likens himself to.  6th place finish.

 

9. Cydney (Brawn Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Cydney is the embodiment of a Brawn tribe member. As a 23 year old professional body builder, Cydney clearly has the dedication, determination and drive to stick it out for 39 days. It is always concerning, however, when someone labels themselves as “opinionated”, as Cydney has on her questionnaire. Sometimes being opinionated is a good thing, but when playing Survivor, if you are as physically intimidating as Cydney, and overly opinionated on top of that (plus she is only 23 years old), her tribe may be turned off by her quickly.

I expect Cydney to be voted out very early on, or make it to the finals, as people will want to take her to the end because they will not think she will have a shot to win.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: Cydney will make the final 3, and receive zero votes to become the sole Survivor.

8. Neal (Brains Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

If I had to choose any of the guys to have a beer with, it would be Neal. He seems like he is someone that would be a lot of fun to be around, and not take himself too seriously. Neal is a smart guy that has created a wildly successful ice cream company from the ground up. He is a fan of the show, and seems like he would not have a problem stabbing his tribemates in the back if it would advance him any further in the game.

I fear though, that once the merge happens, Neal will be playing a bit too hard, and will be the victim of an all girls alliance that sees him as their biggest remaining threat. He may not be a fan favorite, but I predict he will be my favorite, and I will be super bummed when he is voted out mid jury. If, however, he is as good as I think he potentially could be, and makes the final three, he would blow away anyone else in a final vote, and win this season: hands down.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: 8th place. BUT, if he makes the finals, he will be the winner.

7. Aubry (Brains Tribe)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

(photo credit: cbs.com)

Aubry is a wild card. If this likable Social Media Marketer, from Cambridge, MA can keep up with her tribe for the first few weeks, and help her tribe win immunities, she will sail to the end of the game. But if she become a tribal challenge liability, she could be one of the first to be voted out.

It is highly unlikely that she will spend a lengthy amount of time on the jury, as she will either be voted out pre jury, or voted out days before the finals. Hopefully, based on her intro video, it is the latter.

FINAL PLACEMENT PREDICTION: 15th place is she sucks in physical challenges. 4th place if she doesn’t suck in physical challenges.

For the final part of the countdown (6-1) click here.

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Noah’s Top 5 Accomplishments (Genesis 5-9)

Noah is by far one of the most popular figures in the Bible, and deservingly so. Without Noah, the Great Flood would have killed every living thing, and God would have had to make another Adam and Eve from scratch, and at that point God was so mad at people that he may have just scratched the whole idea of humans altogether. He also would have to make all of the animals again, and that seems like an awful lot of work. Noah’s loyalty to God is quite admirable, especially since God asked Noah to do so much work. But, Noah’s accomplishments go far beyond the story of the Ark. The following are the 5 greatest accomplishments that Noah achieved during Genesis 5-9 (ranked in order of least impressive to most impressive.)

5. Noah Dies at the age of 950

(photo made by R. Jacobson)

(photo made by R. Jacobson)

WAY back in the day, people use to live to be like 900 years old. I don’t know why, but it wasn’t like some freak thing, like everyone did. Also, from what I gather, people didn’t typically have kids until they were like in their 300’s. I am pretty sure I was born in the wrong era, because I totally would have a kid when I am 350 years old. Why the hell not?

Anyway, Noah was no exception. He was around 500 when he had his 3 sons, around 600 when the floods came, and around 950 when he died. But what makes Noah so special is that he is known as the last guy that lived to be nearly a thousand years old. After Noah died, the life spans drops significantly, and people only live to be around 120 years old. This is mainly because God got real pissed that men started lusting over women and the general behavior of human being, what with all the fighting and all. So he decided to put a cap on how long they were going to live. I guess everyone was real bad back in Noah’s time, and God was so mad at everyone that he decided to clean them all out and start again with nice guy Noah and his family.

4. Noah Found A Lot of Animals.

(photo credit: blogs.timesofisrael.com)

(photo credit: blogs.timesofisrael.com)

 

Not only did Noah find a male and female of every animal, but he had the skills needed to lead them onto an ark. That is crazy. I lost a cat one time, and I couldn’t find it in my own backyard. This guy finds a male and female of every animal and successfully convinces them to line up in an orderly fashion (this is what I am imagining anyway. There is no proof of it being orderly in the Bible) and keep them all from killing each other while they are on the Great Flood cruise for over a year. Impressive indeed, Noah.

3. Noah Lived on the Ark for Over a Year.

Noah, chilling on his balcony and sending out a dove to see if there is dry land yet. (photo credit: onedayworkweek.wordpress.com)

Noah, chilling on his balcony and sending out a dove to see if there is dry land yet. (photo credit: onedayworkweek.wordpress.com)

 

If you have ever been on a cruise, you may know that spending over a week on the water is just long enough, any longer and you would not only become homesick for dry land, but you would also probably throw your loved ones overboard seeing as you are physically unable to get away from them for more than a few minutes time. In addition to this, your resources are limited, and it is only a matter of time before you run out of supplies. It rained for 4o days and 40 nights, and then it took a long time for Noah and his posse to be able to return to dry land. God made sure that Noah took enough food for himself, his family, and all the animals for their entire time on the ark. And here I am, too lazy to cook dinner.
Not only was Noah floating around with thousands of animals, but he was forced to take his wife, 3 boys, and 3 daughters-in-law with him. Imagine being on an ark with only your family for over a year, and tell me that Noah doesn’t deserve all the recognition that he has attained over the years, simply for not jumping overboard.

2. Noah Builds the Ark

I stumbled upon what I believe is an actual picture of Noah building his ark. Noah is believed to be in the center wearing a white button down and Levi Jeans. (photo credit: www.worldwideweirdnews.com)

I stumbled upon what I believe is an actual picture of Noah building his ark. Noah is believed to be in the center wearing a white button down and Levi Jeans. OMG is that God at the bottom left? (photo credit: www.worldwideweirdnews.com)

 

It is said to have taken Noah around 15o years to build the ark. God gave Noah very specific instructions as to how to build the ark, and Noah paid very careful attention to detail. If Noah decided to cut some corners, the ark would not have been able to survive the torrential storm, and all the animals and his entire family would have drowned with the rest of humanity. It takes a very special person to be able to spend 150 years building something that will be responsible for saving humanity. One time it took me like 4 hours to build a dresser that I bought at Ikea, and although I thought about giving up many times, I was beaming with pride when my work was complete. Luckily Noah had the patience and wearwithal to perform such an important task.

1. Noah Plants a Vineyard, Makes Wine and is Potentially the First Person to Ever Get Drunk

Noah waking up from his drunken wine induced sleep. Been there buddy. And look at his sons judging him. Leave the guy alone. He is like 800 and saved the world. He can get his drink on if he wants to. (photo credit: ourfamilybiblestudy.wordpress.com)

Noah waking up from his drunken wine induced sleep. Been there buddy. And look at his sons judging him. Leave the guy alone. He is like 800 and saved the world. He can get his drink on if he wants to. (photo credit: ourfamilybiblestudy.wordpress.com)

 

After Noah successfully saved the world and the human race, he could have relaxed and lived out the remainder of his 350 years chilling in his tent and watching his sons create what will become the population of all the nations of the world.

But, Noah was an overachiever, and didn’t stop at simply repopulating the universe. He decided to plant, what is known as the first documented vineyard in history. Years after the flood, Noah took to working on a farm. It was during this time that he planted the first vineyard and produced what we now know as wine. (If you read my last Bible related countdown, I know what you’re thinking… and the answer is yes….. Noah is now by far my favorite biblical figure of all time.)

So, one night, Noah drinks way too much wine and passes out in his tent….. NAKED. (If I wasn’t so frightened of so many animals, I would begin to think that I may be Noah reincarnated, but alas, I am terrified of birds, spiders, snakes, reptiles, fish, and many dogs, so I am definitely not Noah. Although I do take after his love of the fermented grape, and the side effects that come with drinking too much of it.)

Now here is the part of Noah’s story that gets a little bizarre. The night that Noah passed out drunk on wine and naked in his tent, one of his sons, Ham, walked in and found him. Ham left the tent and told his two brothers of their dad’s situation. They then went in with a robe, backwards, so they didn’t see their drunk naked dad, and covered him.

When Noah woke up all hungover, he got real pissed at Ham for some unknown reason. Maybe because he didn’t cover him? Nobody really knows, as the Bible does not go into detail about why Noah got so mad. But he was so angry that he put a curse on Ham’s son, Ca’Naan, and made him become a servant for his two uncles. He then said how much he loves his two other kids (the ones that covered him,) and hope that they multiply and have amazing lives. It is really uncool of Noah to punish poor Ca’Naan for his dad’s actions, but after planting the first vineyard of all time, Noah can do no wrong in my eyes.

A few hundred years later, Noah died at the ripe age of 950. Now, if everyone can celebrate the life of this great man, and get drunk on wine tonight and pass out naked in their living rooms, it would be very much appreciated.

#RIPNOAH   #ThanksForInventingWine